Just a quick post. Halloween is by far the busiest time of the year for my costume business (ya think?)

http://www.guidespot.com/guides/why_on_earth_did

I’m guilty of everything but the horrible early 90′s makeup (mostly  because I was too young for makeup.

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I’m not going to lie to you. I spent a whopping $99 on my dress (before tailoring) at David’s Bridal. It’s possible to get a decent dress at a decent price, you just need to have a realistic idea of what you can get for your money.

1. Even used designer dresses will cost over $1,000 unless you get amazingly lucky. If you have your heart set on Vera Wang, start looking years ahead of your wedding or make friends with rich brides Try PreOwnedWeddingDresses.com if you just have to have a couture dress.
2. The embellishments make up most of the cost of the dress. You are going to pay out the tuckus for hand-beading or embroidery. If you are addicted to all things shiny, go for a vintage brooch, earring or other item you can pin on instead of paying for a ton of beading or sequin work.
3. Tailoring can cost between $100-500 depending on what needs to get done. Petite brides should avoid embellishments near the hemline which need special tailoring if the dress needs to be shortened. (You see that hem on my dress? That was a $200 hem because of all the crazy layers.) Make sure your tailor is accustomed to working with formal dresses or you may end up paying for even more costly work to fix her mistakes.
4. Sample sales are wonderful… if you’re a size 8-10. Everyone else will need extensive tailoring, which will pretty much negate your savings. If you do buy a sample dress, check that mofo over for damage or stains before purchase because getting a stain out of a wedding dress could cost you nearly $100.
5. Organic silk is fabulous, but sometimes you have to weigh how green your wedding is to how much green you are spending. Man-made materials are cheaper and 99% of the population can’t tell one fabric from another anyway. Console yourself by donating or selling your dress to another bride to reuse and recycle.
6. When you buy your dress has a huge impact on the price. The ‘warehouse’ style bridal salons have big sales in the off-season (which is how I got mine) and if you start looking as soon as the ring hits your finger, you’re more likely to find a sale.
7. Color is very in right now. If you are going to buy a sash or wrap, don’t buy the $50 one in the bridal salon. They are cheaper just about anyplace else, and are ridiculously easy to make if you’re so inclined.
8. There’s always the option of buying a white dress that wasn’t intended as a wedding dress. If you are the kind of bride who wants to keep things simple, this is a great option. The problem is that most of these dressed don’t look like wedding dresses.
9. Don’t forget to factor in the cost of your underthings. Wedding petticoats can get rather expensive if you can’t find one used and you’re probably going to need a specialty bra and panties (not to mention stockings) if you don’t wear a lot of formal gowns.

All this and we still haven’t even started on actual bridal accessories! Just remember that you’re only going to wear this lovely dress once, so don’t go too crazy over it.

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Nature has once again vividly reminded me that I’m not pregnant, today’s post is going to be about every woman’s least favorite time of the month. If you are not in the mood for a very frank discussion on bodily functions, now would be a good time to stop reading.

You have several options to save money on your choose of feminine hygiene product. (Side rant here, but I HATE that name for tampons and pads. My vulva isn’t dirty, I just need something to catch the outflow.)

1. Skip the ‘extras’ on commercial products.

First off, never put any perfumed product in or on your bits. Perfumed products can cause serious irritation and if your genitals smell bad you need to go to the doctor, not cover it up.

Secondly, you don’t really need plastic applicators for tampons, cardboard ones work just fine. Some brave ladies can even save by using O.B. brand without applicators. If you have trouble inserting a tampon, try placing one foot up on the toilet or coughing lightly as you insert to relax your muscles.

Third, despite what the commercials would like you to believe, there’s not all that much difference between brands among products with the same absorbancy levels. If you are changing your chosen product regularly, you can safely use a ‘store’ brand.

2. Use a ‘Green’ Product

Any non-squeamish sewers can make reusable cloth pads.Here is an excellent tutorial on making them, caring for them, and why you should stop being freaked out by the very idea.

While you can’t roll your own tampons, you can use sea sponges, which last around four months. There are a few ‘brands’ of sea sponges for this purpose (like Sea Pearls) but there’s no real reason not to use a sponge you’ve sanitized yourself.

Sea sponges are NOT for the squeamish. Removing them can be a  bloody mess and you will have to rinse them out when they are full. This really bothers some women in public ladies’ rooms. You also need to boil them before storage between periods. Another ugly problem is that like all sponges, when they are full they are full. Laughing or somehow squeezing your pelvic muscles when it’s full could could result in a gush.

3. Try a Menstrual Cup

Once again, not for squeamish people who don’t want to deal with their genitals or what comes out of it. Menstrual cups sit up near the cervix and collect fluid rather than absorbing it. There is no string, so you will be reaching up into yourself to remove the cup.

Menstrual cups last the longest of all the options, which make them a good option. They also come in various sizes which can help with fitting every body type.

Virgins and really petite or young women sometimes have trouble at first adjusting to the larger size of the cup. This is easily solved with a little stretching (the cup is no wider than the average penis after all.)

If you’re interested in using a menstrual cup, the Menstrual_Cups LiveJournal Community is incredibly informative and friendly.

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Ugh, sometimes the frugal housewife websites really scare me. They advocate some of the craziest ‘tips’ I have ever seen next to perfectly reasonable ones.

Food safety is more important than saving $.50

• Yes, that chunk of cheese may have been expensive, but you need to weigh possibly eating mold spores versus how much that now moldy hunk is worth.  If you feel ready to take that risk, you need to remove at least 1″ all around the mold you are cutting out. The more you discard, the less likely it is you are eating the little mold spores you can’t see. Yummy!
• Leftovers need to be tossed if they haven’t been eaten in four days. If you haven’t stored them properly, that time frame is even shorter so make good use of airtight containers (and your freezer, for that matter.)
• If the can is dented or bulging, it needs to go. Acidic canned foods (tomatoes) need to go after roughly 18 months. Other foods will last between 2-5 years. And if it doesn’t look or smell right when you open it, throw it out.
• Be extra, extra careful with home canned/jarred goods, even if you made them. They have been made with lots of love, but you it takes a lot of work to make sure they haven’t been contaminated.
• If you’ve made your own dry mix containing shortening (for biscuit mixes) for heaven’s sake, store it in the fridge in an airtight container and chuck it after 3-4 weeks. It does not, in fact, “Last forever on the shelf.” Regular dry mixes will keep about 6 months (although try storing it in the fridge anyway to keep out any creepy crawlies.)
• If creepy crawlies have gotten into your dry goods (rice, flour, etc.,) suck it up and throw all open containers in the surrounding shelves out. If you don’t, you risk not removing all the pests. Next time, store all your dry food in airtight containers and remember that buying in bulk isn’t cheaper if you can’t consume the food before it goes bad or the pests get to it.

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I know, I know, you still have more than three weeks until Halloween. You may not even know if you’re being invited to a costume party, or if you’ll need any sort of costume at all.

Well, it’s time to start thinking about costumes anyway. It’s hard to make a frugal Halloween costume that doesn’t look like a cheap costume, and if you wait until the night before you need it, it will look like a cheap Halloween costume that you threw together at the last possible second.

None of the costumes I’m suggesting should cost you more than $20, even if you have to purchase pieces or supplies and most should take you less than an hour or two.

General Frugal Costume Tips

1. Avoid trendy costumes. First off, they’re more expensive to buy or make and secondly, you won’t be able to reuse them.
2. Be creative on ideas, but don’t get in over your head. I’m sure you’d be the only one going as Van Gogh’s ‘Starry Night’ and the supplies (poster board, some paint, black clothes) would be pretty inexpensive, but do you have the kind of skills to pull that off?
3. If you need clothing pieces for a costume, first raid your closet, then raid the thrift stores (that’s why we’re starting early.) It’s much cheaper to buy a second hand shirt and alter it than it is to buy a ready-made costume piece.
4. Raid party stores after Halloween for cheap gloves, hats, tights and other things on clearance that you can use the next year.

Quick, Frugal, Classic Halloween Costumes

Zombie

You’ll Need – Old clothes, fake blood, dirt, white stage makeup, dark brown, purple/red, yellow and green eyeshadow or stage makeup.

Start deconstructing your old clothes: tear holes, cut some stitches so pieces hang wrong. Then, add grime: put your clothes on and roll around in the dirt/grass, clean your apartment in them… Finally, add a little fake blood (you want a dark brown color because it’s ‘old blood’).

Mix the white makeup with some of the green eyeshadow to make a nice, zombie-ish, base foundation. Cover your entire face and neck with foundation (over your lips too, or use a white eye pencil on them) Apply yellow eyeshadow liberally around your eyes (up to the eyebrow) and in the hollow of your cheeks. Make nice big under-eye circles with your purple eyeshadow and purple splotches where you want bruised flesh. If you really want to get into it, you can add some oatmeal to leftover fake blood. and apply to your face for disgusting, crusty, rotting goodness. Yum!

Pirate

You’ll Need – Black boots, bandana, pirate-ish clothes, corset/waist-cincher (if you have one)

The fun part about pirate costumes is that it’s all about layering. When you attack the thrift store, look for off-the-shoulder 90′s-style shirts in white, black or brown, vests, black or striped pants you can make into cutoffs, scarves, belts, long skirts you can tatter, cheap gold costume jewelry… If you want to splurge, buy yourself a pirate hat.

Greek Goddess

You’ll Need: Old sheet (or two), (white t-shirt), sandals you can paint, gold ribbon, gold costume jewelry

For sandals: If you have gold ones, great! If you don’t, you can make passable ones by buying a cheap pair of flip-flops or other sandals on clearance, painting them gold and attaching the gold ribbons to tie up your legs.

For your toga, cut that sheet in half lengthwise (hemming it is a good idea) and then get to tying:

If you have another sheet of a different color, you can make a wrap with it.
For hair, braiding the ribbon in looks good, so do most updos.

Barbie Doll

You’ll Need – Big, blonde wig, Bright dress in purple or hot pink, lots of glitter/tulle/ruffles (80′s style prom or bridesmaid gown work perfectly), 4-inch pumps (flaming pink, spray paint if you have to)

… I don’t think you really need directions on this one.

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