Mr. and I are at am impasse.

Mr. hates to commute. Actually, I think he’s beyond hating and into loathing. Right now he’s taking the Metro, which he hates, but at least it’s not driving, which he hates more. I don’t blame him because he has virtually no attention span and commuting is boring. That said…

We are paying $1,500 a month for a one bedroom apartment. Said apartment is so freakin’ expensive because it’s a 10 minute walk from the Metro and we’re about 5-10 minutes from Washington D.C.

We could get an apartment about fifteen minutes away in Fairfax for roughly $1,000, which would be about a 10-15 minute walk from the Metro (or 5 minutes if I drop him off) and about an extra 15 minutes on the Metro.

Needless to say, I want to move to the cheaper location. Mr. refuses because it’s an extra 15-20 minutes added to his commute. He thinks that I should get a part time job to make up the $500. I think he should suck it up and sit on the train for an extra 1/2 hour each day (I will be getting a part time job, but I would like to have the $500 from me AND the $500 savings on the rent going into the bank.)

Normally I let Mr. make the occasional stupid money decision (like buying the TV) because he’s bringing home the bacon while I get my business set up. This, however, is a roughly $6,000 a year stupid decision. That’s 20 car payments or 15 loan payments or 1/3 of what we want to put down on a house.

We both refuse to budge on this and things are getting more and more ugly when we discuss buying a house/having kids.

Anyone have any good advice for me? Luckily our lease isn’t up until March ($2000 to break it before then!) so we don’t have to make an immediate decision.

Popularity: unranked [?]

It occurs to me that weekend reading should be on Saturdays so you’ll get a chance to actually read it during the weekend. It also occurs to me that I must have been hungry this week since most of these are food related.

Food/Kitchen

Guide to Wrapping and Pan Frying Dumplings by Appetite for China – These look so good I can almost taste them. These would be fabulous at a cocktail party as they’re pretty hearty yet small and easily eaten.

Chocolate Dipped Tuxedo/Wedding Dress Strawberries by My Sweet and Saucy – So cute and great for a bridal shower or wedding favors.

Super Mario Mushroom Cookies by Snack or Die – As a geek, I feel obligated to make these at least once.

Sleepin’ In Omelette by Pioneer Woman Cooks – Everything that the Pioneer Woman cooks looks amazing, but I’m a sucker for breakfast casseroles. This would be great for a brunch.

Strawberry Freezer Jam by Make and Takes – I love homemade jam, but I’m afraid of all the equipment necessary to make it. Freezer jam is pretty easy and tasty. Look around farmer’s markets for good deals on strawberries.

Green Vegetarian Diet and Lifestyle. – While I may not necessarily agree with all their ideas, this is a great site for healthy vegetarian recipes for people looking to cut down the amount of meat in their diet (and budget.)

No Bake Strawberry Cream Pie by Domino – Easy, quick and elegant. This makes me want to host a tea party.

15 Tips for Leftovers by TipNut – Some fairly uncommon tips for dealing with leftovers. The frozen grapes are especially nice on a hot day and healthier than a big bowl of ice cream.

Crafting/Sewing

Recess Zipper, How To by My Spare Time – I LOVE making tote bags and purses (and it’s a hell of a lot cheaper than buying them.) Here’s a great tutorial on how to put in a recessed zipper.

College Care Package From Extra Samples by Handprints on the Wall – I usually skip these posts because I don’t like the whole working over CVS/Walgreens thing, but this is a really good idea. You could also throw in make-up samples you would never use, a paperback you’re done reading or some tips on how you survived college.

50 Freeware Money Management Tools by Smart Credit Shopper – I’m not a fan of the rest of the site, but this is a very useful list if you don’t want to spend money on budgeting tools.

Popularity: unranked [?]

No post yesterday because I took Mr. to get the last two of his wisdom teeth removed.

The grand total out of pocket for the both the procedure and the painkiller/antibiotics: $28.50

I’ve had friends question why we have all the supplemental insurance that Mr.’s job has to offer, and between the two eye exams, 4 trips to the dentist’s, 6 boxes of contacts and one oral surgery, I think we have spent $100 out of pocket. If we were paying up front, I honestly don’t think we would go to the dentist as often as we should, we’d be putting off our eye exams, etc…

Popularity: unranked [?]

Mr. is caught in the ‘only $XX a month’ trap. A lot of people fall into this trap because instead of thinking in the long term, they get caught on the $50 or $20 or whatever part (which is, of course, what the company’s advertising department wants.)

Usually the $50 a month won’t kill you ($600 a year is usually doable) but it becomes a real problem when those ‘only $50′ start to add up. In our case, Mr. insists on having internet on his cellphone at $20 a month. Why? I don’t know, because we REALLY don’t need it and we’re trying to cut expenses. He also insists on the premium cable channels ($50), plays World of Warcraft ($15), then add in our Gamefly account ($15) and the monthly payments on our TV ($100)… Because these are paid in small chunks, he doesn’t realize that they’re costing us $2220 a year! ($1020 once the TV is paid off in March.)

These ‘little’ monthly charges aren’t always easy to keep track of, as evidenced by Mr. forgetting completely about the WoW account payments until I made him subtract it from his 1/4 of the fun money budget (Gamefly comes out of ‘ours’)

So  what am I getting at? Whenever you hear a price at $XX a month, immediately multiply that by 12. I’m inclined to then take that number and consider how much an impact it would have if we applied it to our debt (for example, $2220 is roughly 8 car payments or 5 loan payments for us.) Suddenly, I find that I don’t really NEED text messaging on my phone and I don’t miss HBO at all.

Popularity: 1% [?]

I hate, hate, hate the nasty, guilty feeling I get when I make a perfectly reasonable purchase.

For example, Bath and Body Works was running their buy 2 get 2 free sale on spa products. I refuse to live without my Heel of Approval. (Before you accuse me of being over-dramatic, you must understand that I’m talking 1/4″ bleeding cracks on my poor, dry feet, to the point where walking is painful. This is the first non-prescription treatment I’ve found in 25 years that works.) So I haul my ass across the street on tender feet to pick up some up.

I come home with this awful guilty feeling. I spent $30 on $60 worth of useful product that will last me a few months. We have plenty of room in the budget for this (in fact, barring major emergency, we’re going to come in about $200 under budget this month) and it’s not like I go crazy on beauty products all the time.

Gah! It’s just so annoying to feel guilty over stupid crap like this.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Everybody else is doing it, so why can’t we? [/Cranberries]

So while I relax and recharge, here’s what I’ve StumbledUpon in the past week.

Tech
How to Dry Your Cellphone from Popular Mechanics. Very handy if you are clumsy like me.

Food
How I Halved My Food Bill. A few good recipes for cheap and filling meals.

Egg Drop Soup from BlogChef. I love Egg Drop Soup, so I was practically drooling while I read this. I would use fresh ginger and a little garlic, but to each their own.

How To Make A Cosmopolitan from How To:Tips and Tricks. I’ve never even watched an episode of Sex and the City, so I had no idea there was a new fad for Cosmos. I just knew they are damn tast.

Spiced Pineapple Drinnk from Laylita. If you’ve cut up a pineapple for Fruit Salad or otherwise, this is a great way to use the core and trimmings. Frugal AND tasty.

House and Home

The Ultimate Guide to Buying Cheap Wine. How to buy grocery store wine that’s affordable but still drinkable. Yes, it’s possible to have both.

Glass Flip Flops from the Crochet Dude. No, not glass flip flops for your feet. Flip Flop style coasters for your wineglasses. The thong holds them on so they travel with the glass.

Nighty Night Pattern from the Sewing Garden. A commercial pattern for a cute babydoll style nighty or shorts and camisole set. Really cute and on my splurge list.

Other

Excuses To Be A Jerk. An incredible and thoughtful blog post by an autistic woman (Amanda) on the outward behavior of autistic persons. She covers the attitudes of people coming into contact with autistic persons (“You are not autistic/AS, you are just using that as an excuse for poor social skills or an excuse to be a jerk.”) as well as cues for realizing you may be dealing with an autistic writer. This is a great eye opener, especially if you do or plan to interact with people in comment threads, message boards, and other social aspects of the internet.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Have you ever been on either a message board or someone’s blog and read a statement like “we’re doing everything we can, but we keep sinking further into debt”? It’s usually followed by a description of all the frugal things and tips they’ve tried. However, if you actually ask the person what they’re doing to limit their spending, you aren’t going to get an answer.

If you try to do all the little frugal things (saving plastic wrap, making your own detergent, etc.) without cutting your spending, it’s like putting bandaids on your paper cuts while you die of a gaping chest wound. Yes, it feels like you’re doing something, but you will still bleed yourself dry.

You can do your laundry frugally, save money while doing your dishes, or pack your lunch everyday, but if you’re still spending $100 a month on beauty treatments, leasing a big-ass SUV you don’t need, and maxing out your credit cards, you’re not going to get anywhere.

Why don’t people grasp this concept? Or is it just that people don’t want to stop spending? If you want to get out of debt, you need more coming in than going out. Period.

Popularity: unranked [?]

I’ve had a few people question me on how ‘frugal’ I am when they find out that we own a Wii, a Playstation 3, two Nintendo DS’s, a big-ass flat screen TV, more computers than people, new cellphones, etc. My first response is usually wanting to tell them to go F-themselves, but then I get this weird compulsion to try and explain myself.

Trying to save money doesn’t mean that you can never buy anything you want because it’s ‘too expensive’, it just means that you a) have to budget for it and b) have to understand that you can’t go buck wild every time you hit the electronics department.

Both hubby and I are gamers. Our friends are gamers. 9 times out of 10 when we get together lately it involves sitting on someone’s couch and beating the crap out of each other in Super Smash Brawl. Where other people have room in their budgets for going out to eat or having a few drinks at the bar, we have a budget for video games. Instead of buying every new game that comes out, we have an account with GameFly so we pay $15 a month for what is usually about 30-40 hours of entertainment (if we really want to buy a game, we wait until we find a used copy.)  I figure that if we play our consoles for 5 years, we will probably have paid about $2,000 for just about 2,000 hours of fun, which is a pretty good deal. The initial investment is pretty high ($250-800 depending on the console) but if you’re smart and use a rental service and buy only used games, you’ll get a lot of fun over a long period of time for not so much money.

As for computers, I build my own with the help of one of my fellow geek girlfriend. The result is that a) I can build them cheaply because I don’t pay marked up retail for parts and I don’t pay for labor, b) I can upgrade cheaply (just buy the part and snap it in) and c) I don’t have to pay for computer repairs because I can do it myself. Can I afford to build a supercomputer and upgrade the parts every time something new comes out? Oh hell no. But I can save up a $20 a month so I can buy an uprade once a year or so. As for the old parts, I either sell them, trade them with geek buddies or use them to build another computer.

As for the TV… okay, the TV was a big mistake and one that I like to blame Mr. for because I had nothing to do with the purchase. Although I would have rather spent the money on putting more down on for our car loan, I have to admit that we could absorb the indulgence and it is pretty sweet to actually play the HD consoles on an HD TV.

Are there cheaper options for entertainment? Of course. I could read books from the library instead of playing games, skip the home computer and use the library’s, and watch only network stations on our old tv. But we wouldn’t enjoy it as much (except for the reading part) and we budget for our geek expenses out of the ‘fun money’ so we’re not digging ourselves deeper into debt for it.

Popularity: unranked [?]

There are many moments in my life when I have to rethink if the frugal option is the correct option, mostly when it comes to how my behavior is going to affect others.

Most of this comes down to whether you are frugal or a cheapskate. A frugal person will weigh all their options and choose the least expensive option that works for them. A cheapskate will always choose the absolute cheapest option, no matter what the consequences.

A frugal person might sew you a nice throw pillow as a housewarming present rather than buying something. A cheapskate will sew you that pillow out of the cheapest material they can find (whether it matches your house or not) and stuff it with dryer lint. Yes, I have actually seen that being suggested. If you have the urge to gift me with something, I’d really rather prefer you didn’t give me any waste products from your household appliances.

A cheapskate will insist that all outings with friends go to the cheapest possible restaurant and then they will insist on itemizing everything on the bill rather than splitting it. A frugal person will suggest a more inexpensive option but will not insist on it. If they feel that they can’t afford to go out to the majority’s pick, they will either stay home or opt to go out less often.

A cheapskate will gift yet another crappy, scented candle from the dollar store even though the receiver is allergic to perfumes.  A frugal person may not be able to afford what the receiver really wants, but will search out an appropriate option that they can afford (a few items from Bath and Body Works vs a visit to the day spa)

Don’t be that cheapskate that no one wants to be friends with. Money should not take over your life like that.

Popularity: unranked [?]

It’s not a steal, a deal, a sale or a bargain if you didn’t intend to buy anything in the first place.

Let’s say you realize that you need a new cocktail dress for all these events you keep getting invitations for. You want to be a knockout, but want something that will be classic and last a few years so you budget yourself $300 for a new dress and start shopping. After a week, you fall in love with this dress. Not only is it well within your budget, but you have a 20% off coupon that you’ve snagged from RetailMeNot. That, my friends, is a good deal and a smart purchase.

On the other hand, let’s say your walking down the street with a girlfriend. You spot a clearance sale sign in the window of a favorite shop and you decide to go in t. After a couple of minutes, you find a cute dress at 50% off of $200 and figure you might as well buy it since it’s half off. In this case, you didn’t save $100, you spent $100 on something you didn’t need and probably didn’t want all that badly.

Ladies aren’t the only ones guilty of this *looks pointedly at oversized television gracing the Frugal Urbanite living room*. If you hadn’t intended to buy it in the first place and don’t need it, it’s not a bargain no matter how good the sale seems.

An occasional impulse purchase isn’t going to wreck your life (just make sure you have a little ‘fun money’ squirreled away for this sort of thing) but you need to realize that regularly accumulating stuff just because it was on sale is a pretty stupid practice, whether it be four boxes of cereal you will never eat or another black cocktail dress when you already own three.

Popularity: unranked [?]